December 8, 2011

Newt's Modest Proposal

Newt Gingrich, the current flavor of the week for Republicans desperately seeking the anti-Mitt candidate, has opined that young kids these days don't have any work ethic. One alternative he recommends is to take children and put them to work as janitors in the schools sweeping hallways, emptying the trash, or cleaning the boy's room. After all, the kids are already in school, so what's the big deal? Why not put the little guys and gals to work?

Why not indeed? Well, here's why not. Think about it. Which kids are going to be getting these jobs, the kids with money or the kids who are poor? You think the average white bread soccer mom is going to have her Little Johnny scrubbing toilet bowls after school? No way. So when the school bell rings, ending the school day, her kid will head to after-school activities while the poor kids will report for duty with their mops and buckets. Might as well put a big sign on their back saying "I'm one of Newt's 100,000." And I'm betting the the kids who don't have to work will be teasing the ones who do. That's just how kids are.

Maybe Newt has been out of high school for too long to remember how it is. Of course, he did marry his high school geometry teacher when he was 19 years old, so his high school memories more than likely differ considerably from yours or most other people. Looks like Newt had a real gift for mathematics, given how adept he became at romantic triangles.

Here's Newt's Law: The square of the hypocrisy equals the area of political ambition.

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